Jean- Hello Nicola how can I help you?
Nicola- I want you to let us into the EU.
Jean- You are already in the EU and your country just vote to leave??
Nicola- Ah yes, but Scotland didn't and therefore it was undemocratic.
Jean- But your country (the UK) has?
Nicola- Ah, but we are Scotland and that's what's important now and ultimately democratic.
Jean- What? more democratic than the national referendum 2 years ago that decided to stay within the UK?
Nicola- Uh, yes.
Jean- I see so when are you going to have another referendum?
Nicola- Uh, not sure.
Jean- So what can i do for you?
Nicola- Well, what I want is a guarantee that as a new country the EU will do what it has refused to do to any another country requesting entry into the EU.
Jean- What's that?
Nicola- Well Jean, we want immediate no strings attached entry into the EU as a new country.
Jean- But you are not a new country
Nicola- I KNOW but when we are?
Jean- I see. You do know that if you become a new member that you will also belong to the single currency?
Nicola- Uh, Jean we don't want the Euro, we will keep the pound thanks.
Jean- WHAT! So let me get this clear. Your current country/union has voted democratically to leave the EU, but you want your country to remain with us although your country also wants to remain in the UK. Also, despite wanting to leave the UK and join the EU you want to keep the pound?
Nicola- Uh, yes.
Jean- Is the rest of the UK alright with that?
Nicola- Uh, I haven't asked them yet.
Jean- OK get back to me on that one!! Sorry I need to go, the Spanish and French governments want urgently to speak to me about something.