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There must be a simple answer?

Discussion in 'The BMW Car Club' started by sad_old_man, Aug 7, 2017.

  1. Si

    Si Zorg Guru (I)
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    I'm with @BMBabe I have read most of your posts outloud to my wife, they are on our wave length.
    You are known in our house as "the brandy man". Keep it coming @sad_old_man. BTW not a clue what middle Sunday looks like but I'm guessing it will be raining.....
     
    #21 Si, Aug 7, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2017
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  2. BMBabe

    BMBabe Zorg Guru (V)
    Staff Member Supporter British Zeds Community Admin

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    I vote @sad_old_man should have his own random section!!!
    Where he can post his random funny post of the day =))
    @GazHyde this Zedder is hilarious!! I vote that earns him a free Zorg sticker?
     
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  3. sad_old_man

    sad_old_man Dedicated Member
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    Wots a zedder?.......... is that someone who can't count?... if so count me in because I cant......... did I say that?..... if I can't count then........... oh never mind you know what I mean...........I think?
     
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  4. BMBabe

    BMBabe Zorg Guru (V)
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    Haahahahahahahaha =))
    @GazHyde is usually good at posting definitions :thumbsup:
     
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  5. sad_old_man

    sad_old_man Dedicated Member
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    As it happens I'm going to Wales this weekend.......... please don't ask why because I am completely clueless as to why I'm going. Now although being completely clueless is not a new phenomenon for me because it kind of comes naturally to me but I even have to ask myself "WHY WALES"? and I keep answering myself "I DONT KNOW YOU CHOSE WALES"? However a cunning plan came into my mind head whilst sampling a fine brandy? I'm not exactly sure but I have a feeling that wherever Wales is? Chester is half way between it and Blackpool see. Therefore by my careful calculations (for careful calculation read complete guess) wherever Wales is I must drive past it to get there and therefore plus I must drive past it again to get home. Inspired by my newly acquired ability to think I became excited and had some more brandy...... Now boys and girls here is my cunning plan in detail........... I could call in at the pub tomorrow on my way to Wales but it wouldn't be the middle Sunday of the month because its Saturday. Now before you all say 'Ah what a stupid plan' remember when I travel back from Wales it will be a Sunday (and yes I worked that one out all by myself) so I can call in at the pub on my way back. Now as nobody knows if it is the 'Middle' Sunday of the month or not either one of two things will happen..........

    1. I can't find the pub?
    2. Its not the 'Middle' Sunday of the month and so I will sit looking like a complete dork (comes naturally as well) with all the pub regulars looking at me and thinking 'There's another one of them stupid BMW Muppets that can't even work out which Sunday is the Middle of the month"?
    3. It is the 'Middle' Sunday of the month so I will sit looking like a complete dork with all the pub regulars looking at me and thinking 'There's another one of them stupid BMW Muppets"?

    But remember at least its a plan?
     
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  6. sad_old_man

    sad_old_man Dedicated Member
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    Plan didn't work due to the fact that apparently the whole of the UK decided to go to Blackpool today to watch the air show? Why I don't know but after a weekend in Wales I have lost the will to live!

    The worst thing about my sat nav is that it keeps diverting your route.......... don't ask and I don't want to go there so....../////

    Anyway trip to Wales 2.5hrs. Trip back to Blackpool 6.5hrs?...........I wonder why?#

    Well needless to say I still don't know if today was the middle Sunday of the month but I blame the North West Region of the BMWCC for that because they caused all this to stop me attending their secret meeting where they only want the 'IN' members to find them........ Shame on you?
     
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  7. Redline

    Redline Zorg Expert (I)
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    We passed 15 miles of slow and standing traffic on the M6 just south of the M55 as we came back south. Was thinking it was a bit excessive for a normal Sunday trip to Blackpool. The air show explains it.
    Should have stayed in Wales until tomorrow :whistle:
     
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  8. sad_old_man

    sad_old_man Dedicated Member
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    Nothing but nothing but absolutely nothing would have kept me in Wales a second longer!............. Yes I know they built it so someone has to go there but "WHY ME LORD"? When I went through the first tunnel it was kinda fun. Listening to the deafening roar of the exhaust as you give it some welly in Sport+ mode. When it came to the nineteenth tunnel I was getting a little hacked off to say the least. I know the welsh like digging holes in the ground but what's with all the damn tunnels? Here's a thought............. have a change in your diet and build some bridges as an alternative....... you never know you might like them and they are high in protein and good for you?. Then they love narrow gaps........... oh yes they love them. In a feeble attempt to pass through Conway I was confronted by a narrow gap through the support walls for the castle. Even I held my breath as I passed through it in an attempt to make the car thinner. I even folded my door mirrors in as well. Breathing a sigh of relief I set off again quite proud of myself and feeling a little smug if I do say so myself. It was short lived due to another narrow gap that was lurking just around the corner and I swear It started laughing when it saw me. Just as I was psyching myself up for this latest Welsh challenge along came George and Martha travelling in the opposite direction to me (that's coming towards me for those of you that don't have sat nav) and my jaw dropped when I saw the size of the caravan they were towing! Now I've come across some stupid drivers in my time but George definitely takes the biscuit for stupidity. What is it with these mobile shed towers? They tow these bits of aluminium and wood around behind them with their stick on hairy chests and a dash board full of Yorky bars and think they are driving a Scania with a forty footer behind them? The traffic was tailed back about 2.5miles by the time George and Martha had finally dragged their useless piece of garbage through the hole in the wall and then they both completely ignored the multitude of motorists that were now queuing up to tear them both limb from limb should they even open a window to allow us access to their flesh!

    Needless to say Conway castle was given a bypass, Llandudno was given a bypass and a swift exit was made to the Brewers Fayre at Glan-Conwy to have a nervous breakdown.

    p.s. Oh and by the way its the only place I've ever been where they have angled give way junctions leading onto 70mph roads!