Off topic posts about boot racks

There are some seriously misguided priorities running through this thread.

1. The general case - If you need a boot rack - you've got too much stuff.
2. If a boot rack is really needed, then beer goes in the boot first - always, without exception!
3. If the boot is full (of beer), then any remaining beer goes on the passenger seat. Nothing else should be needed or carried.
4. If you have a boot full of beer and an insistent passenger, the remaining beer still goes on the passenger seat and the passenger is strapped to the boot - as is clearly the case where Stacy is waiting patiently to be strapped on in the photo earlier.
5. If you still have beer left to carry - its about time you drank some and gave up on your journey.
6. If you have any beer at any point, rule 5 can be applied at any time.

As to which way the rack is attached - there may be further discussion needed. :whistle:

Hope that helps.
 
Redline said:
There are some seriously misguided priorities running through this thread.

1. The general case - If you need a boot rack - you've got too much stuff.
2. If a boot rack is really needed, then beer goes in the boot first - always, without exception!
3. If the boot is full (of beer), then any remaining beer goes on the passenger seat. Nothing else should be needed or carried.
4. If you have a boot full of beer and an insistent passenger, the remaining beer still goes on the passenger seat and the passenger is strapped to the boot - as is clearly the case where Stacy is waiting patiently to be strapped on in the photo earlier.
5. If you still have beer left to carry - its about time you drank some and gave up on your journey.
6. If you have any beer at any point, rule 5 can be applied at any time.

As to which way the rack is attached - there may be further discussion needed. :whistle:

Hope that helps.
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Aaahhh a simple misconception by the layman,and obviously beer transport is important.but those familiar with the proper use of the boot rack would explain that the only things to be carried on said rack would be confined to the following ,ladies under garments which should be confined to but not exclusively silk, nylon ,cotton recently this has been expanded to include Lycra .Flannelette and thermal are to be avoided at all costs some WOOLEN garments are allowed under a special proviso** .Some items of "make up" are allowed up to but not exceeding 100mm per item ,other items of personal hygiene are allowed with prior notification .Hair dryers,straighteners and curling tongs are out of the question ....There are some other rules but I've forgotten them and they are in small print .but if you follow these basic guidelines you will enjoy your boot rack for many years to come with the added bonus that installed the right way round you will be keeping your loved ones essentials safe, earning many brownie points in the process. I hope this is like an ointment and clears it up for you. Thank you,Hugh
 
Which way round is it supposed to be I've forgotten or has somebody said on here?


We were told when we first got our caravan, apart from keeping off the road at busy times, that the table which was stored on the floor of the van when travelling should be right at the front because it will slide forwards under braking as brakes are more powerful that acceleration.
-sticky up bit to the front so that bits don't hit you if you stop quickly.
You can leave your lingerie on the road but not on the passengers lap.
 
Brian4 said:
Which way round is it supposed to be I've forgotten or has somebody said on here?


We were told when we first got our caravan, apart from keeping off the road at busy times, that the table which was stored on the floor of the van when travelling should be right at the front because it will slide forwards under braking as brakes are more powerful that acceleration.
-sticky up bit to the front so that bits don't hit you if you stop quickly.
You can leave your lingerie on the road but not on the passengers lap.
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You don't want other people riffling through your other half's underwear ?keep it close at all times ,and being slapped by a lacy thong and be quite revitalising
 
miller1098 said:
You don't want other people riffling through your other half's underwear ?keep it close at all times ,and being slapped but a lacy thong and be quite revitalising
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Nothing wrong with riffling though a ladies underwear
 
miller1098 said:
Aaahhh a simple misconception by the layman,and obviously beer transport is important.but those familiar with the proper use of the boot rack would explain that the only things to be carried on said rack would be confined to the following ,ladies under garments which should be confined to but not exclusively silk, nylon ,cotton recently this has been expanded to include Lycra .Flannelette and thermal are to be avoided at all costs some WOOLEN garments are allowed under a special proviso** .Some items of "make up" are allowed up to but not exceeding 100mm per item ,other items of personal hygiene are allowed with prior notification .Hair dryers,straighteners and curling tongs are out of the question ....There are some other rules but I've forgotten them and they are in small print .but if you follow these basic guidelines you will enjoy your boot rack for many years to come with the added bonus that installed the right way round you will be keeping your loved ones essentials safe, earning many brownie points in the process. I hope this is like an ointment and clears it up for you. Thank you,Hugh
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I limit Sandys luggage to a change of underwear and a bikini, we don't need a boot rack.

Mike
 
The boot rack has to have the upturn facing front or else your ski rack will not fit correctly, and then the skis could snag your undies, or worse pierce your beer....
 
No, all wrong, you should be parked up, with the ladies panties over your head, with a cold beer in one hand from the pile of beer on ice in the OEM suit case that only fits the OEM boot rack with the 'lip' facing to the front of the car.
But, obviously, if you do not have a boot rack that is OEM, and a sheep, you will not have ladies panties on your head and your beer will be warm.
 
hard top said:
No, all wrong, you should be parked up, with the ladies panties over your head, with a cold beer in one hand from the pile of beer on ice in the OEM suit case that only fits the OEM boot rack with the 'lip' facing to the front of the car.
But, obviously, if you do not have a boot rack that is OEM, and a sheep, you will not have ladies panties on your head and your beer will be warm.
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Aahh my young padawan what you speak of is advanced boot racking and should only undertaken after many years of study In a remote mountain monastery .Or for the extremely gifted a hidden pub in the valleys of mid Wales .But the reverse boot rack is a dark art and is usually only spoken of in dark corners of little rooms.... namely the men's urinal..... BUT this can be extremely dangerous and if your not fluent in Welsh can lead to ,head toilet dunking and a strange but not unpleasant ritual with a sheep.As for the ski business even the beginner in thee study of boot racking knows that the origins of the rack were in the UK ,a ski was a yogurt ,so the ski argument becomes invalid.unless of course you have become a slave to the dark side.Treat any meetings with these people with extreme caution as they can lead you down a very dark path to a world of unspeakable terror where they drink larger sometimes with a da*h in funny little groups and their wives can out drink them.for them all hope is gone!I can only offer these words of advice on your quest stay true,stay free and keep the gusset out of your eyes.
 
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Out of your eyes, but not the nose...always follow your nose, roses good, fish is very bad, this is white belt learner stuff, and only by making mistakes will you learn, but approach the kipper with care...
 
This argument is all coming down to one thing, should we stay in the EU and be forced to put our boot racks on the wrong way round by bureaucrats in Brussels. Or Leave the EU and have the freedom to put our boot racks the correct way, with the bar at the back. I know which way I'm voting. Unless Cameron has persuaded the EU to let us keep our boot racks on the English way..

Mike
 
Thats all good Mike, but in order for us to vote the right way, can you please show us an example of the english way, as we have seen Welsh, American (Italian, Irish, Welsh, German Hybrids), but i do not recall seeing an English Gentlemen's version?
 
zedonist said:
Thats all good Mike, but in order for us to vote the right way, can you please show us an example of the english way, as we have seen Welsh, American (Italian, Irish, Welsh, German Hybrids), but i do not recall seeing an English Gentlemen's version?
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I think you will find that in the NSFW section
 
EnthuZiaZT said:
You can't get more English Gentleman than these people:
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Well, pic three shows it with the 'lip' facing towards the front of the car and what the hell has a fire extinguisher got to do with it..:confused:
Also, may I point out, that there are no sheep in pic 2......:)
 
Ive just sent them an email, about picture two and advising them they HAVE IT THE WRONG WAY ROUND...
 
its not important which way around it goes, the really important question is - what have the Romans ever done for us?
 
ok they gave us the boot rack, but apart from the boot rack what have the Romans ever done for us.
mine wont have a lip so it wont matter which way around i mount it:)
 
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