Monkey Machine

[machine monkey]

Hi folks a few have asked for it so i will give it ago. I will try and do 1 or 2 a day to get up to date.

So how did it start.....

After spending about 6 months talking about nothing but wanting a Z4. Mrs Monkey eventually gave in and said i was allowed to buy my early mid life crisis. It was the end of September 2012 and i had been looking at a cat d 2.5. When Mrs Monkey said why not spend a bit extra and buy one thats not been in a crash! As if by magic the zed gods shown down on me. And reviled through Auto Trader the cheapest 3.0l in the country. It had just been reduced and had a great speck.

So the next morning i called the garage and asked if it was still available. It was and i went and viewed it. The car was scruffy with what looked like light surface scratches all over the deck lid bonnet and the tops of the wings. The car had little service history and obviously needed some attention. The test drive and my own inspection went well. I was happy to buy at the right price. A deal was done and i aranged to pick the car up on my birthday the 5th of October.

The back story to the car having low ish millage and the scratches. The cars previous owner had gone to France on holiday and unfortunately passed away. Well this is what i am told?? And the car had sat for 2 years under a car cover.

After washing the car a few times and polishing to help the scratches. I was upset to find the car had been prepped amazingly well and the scratches had had a whole lot of some very good filler wax

So to brighten my mood I brought some e90 m3 replica wheels (that had a crack in one wheel) But i brought them cheap and set about welding up the wheel. I also thought the gear shiftier was far to high and had to much travel. A quick simple fix a shorter knob.... And then it needed a match handbrake and radio knobs. Que the A Team music and me heading in to the workshop.

Just after taking these pictures. I started my car and it ran like a bag of nail. And went into limp mode. More on that next time.

Monkey

 

[EnthuZiaZT]

Gutted I missed you at Zedfest @machine monkey, wanted to have a chat about some specially made exhaust tips, to see if you could make them for me. Hope to catch up with you soon.

Mike

 

[machine monkey]

Gutted I missed you at Zedfest @machine monkey, wanted to have a chat about some specially made exhaust tips, to see if you could make them for me. Hope to catch up with you soon.

Mike

Happy to give anything a try Mike. There where so many people and cars it was difficult to find all the people i already knew..

 

[billz]

Looks like you can turn your hand to anything. It gives great satisfaction when you can sit back and enjoy what you have done. Have you any other plans. ?

 

[billz]

Gutted I missed you at Zedfest @machine monkey, wanted to have a chat about some specially made exhaust tips, to see if you could make them for me. Hope to catch up with you soon.
Mike

Hi Mike Mozz has a set on his E85 they look very good.

 

[machine monkey]

Looks like you can turn your hand to anything. It gives great satisfaction when you can sit back and enjoy what you have done. Have you any other plans. ?

I wouldn't go that far. Its been a learning curve. I have many more updates. The car is very different from these pictures.

 

[machine monkey]

Hi Mike Mozz has a set on his E85 they look very good.

They are a cracking wheel!! See what i did there!! lol

If i had the cash i would buy a set of genuine ones.

 

[billz]

I believe it was the Blue one opposite from where me and Mozza was parked. The Quad pipes, gear stick snd hand brake gave it away

 

[billz]

They are a cracking wheel!! See what i did there!! lol

If i had the cash i would buy a set of genuine ones.

I was talking about the tips lol

 

[machine monkey]

So after getting the car to my brothers workshop on a trailer. It turned out my throttle body had decided to die. No problem intake pipes and other gubbins striped old one off new one on good to go right?????? Wrong!!!! My died just before Christmas and by the time we diagnosed the fault we couldn't get a new part until after Christmas. No big problem as we all like a drink over Christmas and that and driving as we all know dont mix.

So on a cold day between Christmas and the new year i went over with the new throttle body fitted it. Started up the car she ran sweet and just like before. Apart from the Christmas tree on the dash...... Much swearing and head scratching later clearing faults and generally feeling gloomy we found out some mice had decided to move in behind my dash. And they feasted of Christmas on my can bus network. Got to love furry little mice right!!!

So the car went off to have that fixed at an auto electrician. I can do mechanical stuff but car electrics (and the codding) Are witch craft to me. And some times you just have to say i dont know what i am doing. So i was feeling very skint but my car was running again. And the fantastic Mrs Monkey had brought me new pads and discs for X mass.

And yes i did realize they are on the wrong way round

After that I had a growing desire for a quad exhaust. This was my first effort and it sounded really nice and looked ok. But i was never really happy not having a proper quad.

Its a tee off system. With bypass pipes joining in to the tee. I just never got even flow and it looked a bit naff on cold days.

Before machining and welding.

I was never happy with the cut out. So I managed to get hold of an aero rear bumper.

And at this point i started getting a bit preoccupied with how my car looked.

 

[machine monkey]

I was talking about the tips lol

DOH!! Well the tips are excellent

 

[machine monkey]

So this isnt in the exact order i done the work. More as i am remembering it.

But next up as i say i got the bug for making mine look a little different. I never liked the pre face lift nose cone. And changing to aero face lift or M had been done and was going to cost a few quid. And being as tight as a camels ass in a sand storm!! I decided to have a go at building something. My first effort was quite poor. Even though i still think the idea was ok.

So set about using engineers modeling foam fiberglass and filler to make a shape i liked.

It obviously didn't look right and i was not happy. I reached the limited of my available talent at the time :-( A friend on the other forum!! Who worked in composite materials offered to lend a hand. And after a days work and some time and parts exchanged i have something i really liked and i am proud of.

I have found more pictures of the actual making of the bumper. We all l;like pictures so thought i would edit this post

Hear I am looking slightly demented!!

Yellow?????

No i didn't think so either.

 

[machine monkey]

So as i am on a roll today and i am enjoying the updated and revisiting what i have done.

The dreaded Sticky steering issue. And ruining my car with FK springs.

So after figuring out that i had the sticky steering I have decided that i will eventually convert mine to a hydraulic system. I have all the bits i need with a purple tag rack. I just didn't fancy doing it over the summer when i could be driving. I have realized from previous years this is a mistake more of that to come. As I brought my car in October i was planing on taking the car off the road then. But we have a mini Monkey due in October now so who knows if and when i will get time.

So before i accepted i had a problem with the steering rack. I embarked on chasing or eliminating other possible issues.
1 new control arms and bushes Polly bushes on the mounts. And Meyle HD arms
2 Polly bushed ARBs and i also fitted an M3 ARB
3 Meyle drop links

I also fitted e46 m3 19" alloys and ditched the run flats. I had the car aligned to factory settings and fitted FK lowering springs.

The cars steering was far less busy. Much less twitching and better. But the sticking was still there on very hot days and cold days with the heater on. The subject has been covered many times. And if i am honest the steering feel is the only thing i dont like about the car. I had 323 e46 Just before the zed and the best thing about the boring looking old mans car that is was. Was the steering feel.

I also fitted the springs and ruined my cars ride. The shocks (maybe they where past there best?) But they could not keep up with the car. It was also far to low. Yes it looked great but the car did not perform. And it was at this point i started building my car to drive better not just look better (in my opinion)

What about the wheels i hear you ask.
Well i brought them for £350 with worn out Nankage rubber from a guy local to me. He admitted he had done a crappy DIY paint job but they where the right price and i didn't know any better at the time.

So i set about striping the paint. And quickly realized that i didn't want to do that!!

After much sanding stripping and polishing i ended up with these. I think it took me about 4 weeks and my sanity to get the this shiny.

And they take about an hour a wheel to mask up.

But i was happy when i finished.

 

[machine monkey]

So after deciding i hated the FK springs and that my car was to low. I set about finding some coilovers. And I happened to find a set that i knew had only been on a car for 1-2 months. The guy had to sell up and striped his zed and sold of bits. I had missed out on his previous suspension. So i had first refusal on his Spax RSX coilovers. They may not have the best name. And i honestly dont know why mine have performed faultlessly. If i had a bad word to say it would be that after 3 years they look a bit scruffy and some paint is coming off so they need some attention.

Now what do I think i know about suspension
1 hard suspension is not good. Its uncomfortable and it dose not let the suspension do the job it is supposed to!
2 Too low is not good. See above.
3 You cant just work on the front the back is very important.

That brings me up to about the end of 2013. And next the start of the rear ends overhaul.

 

[Shelly]

Lovely write up @machine monkey

 

[Jack Ratt]

This is a great thread, I love individual or customised cars. She looks great

 

[Rally]

Can't wait for further updates @machine monkey

 

[machine monkey]

Tomorrow

 

[Althulas]

Great journey so far

 

[machine monkey]

So the next installment is not so much about the z4. More about the work i had to do at home for the wife to allow me to play with the car again. But as you will see i was the big winner as it rebuilding the workshop.
So we live in an old house that we renovated about 8 years. Well its still not finished. But we had an old out building and it was crying out to be a workshop.
The workshop when we brought the house.

Whoops

Getting there

And the reason for doing it. A nice work space for car stuff.

And somewhere to have a beer after a hard evenings spanering.

I was also told I need to do somthing with the drive. No problem The car was getting dirty parking on mud anyway

All done well almost as most of my jobs seem to finish.

More car related stuff next time i promise. There will be a rear end rebuild and a lsd install.