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When insults had class!

Discussion in 'General Banter' started by Frank.A, Feb 10, 2012.

  1. Frank.A

    Frank.A Zorg Addict

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    When Insults Had Class These glorious insults are
    from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.


    The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
    She said, "If you were my husband I'd poison your
    tea."
    He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."


    A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will
    either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends,
    Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."


    "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr


    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the
    vices I admire." - Winston Churchill


    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many
    obituaries with great pleasure."
    -Clarence Darrow


    "He has never been known to use a word that might
    send a reader to the dictionary." -William Faulkner (about Ernest
    Hemingway)



    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll
    waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas


    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice
    letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain


    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his
    friends.." - Oscar Wilde


    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my
    new play; bring a friend... If you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to
    Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...
    If there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.


    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like
    having you here." - Stephen Bishop


    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -
    John Bright


    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope
    it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb


    "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of
    dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson


    "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run
    up." - Paul Keating


    "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always
    yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

    "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -
    Forrest Tucker


    "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope
    without any address on it?" - Mark Twain


    "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the
    stork." - Mae West

    "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others,
    whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde


    "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses
    lamp-posts.. . For support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-
    1912)


    "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder


    "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this
    wasn't it."
    - Groucho Marx
     
  2. Boysie

    Boysie Zorg Guru (I)
    Supporter British Zeds M Power

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    I will definitely try and remember a few of them :)
     
  3. swamper

    swamper Zorg Guru (V)
    Supporter M Power

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    i cant think who said it (think it was Groucho Marx ) but its the one that stick out for me....
    i woke up this morning and smiled.......thought i'd get it over and done with :))
     
  4. zedonist

    zedonist Guest

    Try here for a modern version, I am sure you will relate to at least one of the strips on here with your current work place, Ive found I actually work in a Dilbert world :D

    http://www.dilbert.com/
     
  5. Muppet

    Muppet Dedicated Member
    British Zeds

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    " I never forget a face, but in your case i will make an exception" Groucho Marx
     
  6. Titan

    Titan Moderator
    British Zeds

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    I think this is another Churchill:
    Woman to Churchill "You are drunk"
    Response: "Yes Madam and you are ugly. But in the morning I shall be sober"
     

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