LOL I think you will all give Matt palputations. I'm guessing he can't type until he has chance to chill out over quick detailers
I use quick detailers at shows but I know I am risking / probably damaging the paintwork but my car would need to be corrected / resprayed for it to worry me as it has plenty of swirl marks already.
If you've paid good money to have your paintwork corrected then you would be stupid to use a quick detailing on anything but a clean car.
The science is pretty simple in that anything that physically touches your car is liable to cause a swirl / scratch under the wrong conditions so the trick is to clean it as much as possible without physically touching it (hence the reason for loosening dirt via snow foam and other products an rinsing before ever touching the paint).
So given this the real question is how much damage the quick detailer will do and how bothered you are. That is partly dependant on your personality, how dirty your car is and what condition the car was in to start with ;-)
ps don't mention sponges either #-o