CAUTION Have a chuckle - Lifes too short!!!

t-tony

Zorg Expert (II)
Supporter
British Zeds
#ZedShed
Joined
Dec 31, 2013
Messages
43,293
Location
Torksey Lock,Lincoln, England
Model of Z
E89 Z4 23i Auto
PMSL =))=))=))

Tony.
 

the Nefyn cat

Zorg Guru (IV)
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Joined
Oct 19, 2014
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3,502
Location
Actually in Nefyn. My, that took a while.
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2.2i Sport
Thanks, everyone for your concern. First and foremost I am OK, just really shaken up..
For those of you that aren’t aware, last night I was robbed at the petrol station. After my hands stopped trembling, I managed to call the Police. Upon their arrival, they were able to calm me down because my blood pressure went through the roof!
My money is gone though
😞
They asked me if I knew who did it and I told them “Yes, it was pump number 2”.
 

Toby

Zorg Guru (III)
British Zeds
Joined
Jul 5, 2015
Messages
1,147
Location
N.E Lincs
Not sure if this has been posted before ?

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.

"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."
 

Nodzed

Zorg Expert (I)
Supporter
British Zeds
M Power
Joined
Feb 18, 2016
Messages
9,214
Location
Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire, England
Model of Z
Z3M and Z4 (e89)
:whistle:

FB_IMG_1653809863005.jpg
 

t-tony

Zorg Expert (II)
Supporter
British Zeds
#ZedShed
Joined
Dec 31, 2013
Messages
43,293
Location
Torksey Lock,Lincoln, England
Model of Z
E89 Z4 23i Auto

Nodzed

Zorg Expert (I)
Supporter
British Zeds
M Power
Joined
Feb 18, 2016
Messages
9,214
Location
Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire, England
Model of Z
Z3M and Z4 (e89)
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