British Customs Officers

hard top

hard top

Zorg Expert (I)
Dutch Zeds
The M44 Massive
Joined
Dec 5, 2011
Points
213
Location
Netherlands
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Was just having a chat with the Big Man (my mate Rob) about our trip to the UK for the New Forest run and he reminded me of this.......True story.

My passport has seen better days and is falling to bits so I keep it in this, as I am proud to be British.
This has been all over the world and I have never had problems until I land at Southampton airport.

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Rob, with a Dutch passport, walks straight through, me, I get the third degree........
Bloke, remove your passport from that thing.
Me, OK, if it stays in one piece.
Bloke, so you put this in the washing machine did you?
Me, no, overboard.
Bloke, you got a boat then?
Me, no, my mate Rob has.
Bloke, he must be a good mate then?
Me, not anymore, he is the one that threw me overboard.
Bloke, where did you come from?
Me, same place as this flight, Amsterdam.
Bloke, what were you doing over there?
Me, having unprotected sex. Oh, and I live there, you can see that on my passport.
Bloke, what are you doing in the UK?
Me, not having unprotected sex and a Z meet.
Bloke, what?
Me, a Z meet.
(I was surprised, the bloke behind him leans over and says "I think that is a BMW car club thing")
Bloke, don't f*** with me, when are you returning to the Netherlands?
Me, right after the Z meet.
Bloke, go on then and sod off...........

:D
 
Nice polite welcome then Mike, I get searched for guns knives and explosives when I leave the Uk.

Mike
 
hard top said:
article-1343358-0C9FA850000005DC-506_468x286.jpg

​
Was just having a chat with the Big Man (my mate Rob) about our trip to the UK for the New Forest run and he reminded me of this.......True story.

My passport has seen better days and is falling to bits so I keep it in this, as I am proud to be British.
This has been all over the world and I have never had problems until I land at Southampton airport.

1073098_145507188986219_802602652_o.jpg

​
Rob, with a Dutch passport, walks straight through, me, I get the third degree........
Bloke, remove your passport from that thing.
Me, OK, if it stays in one piece.
Bloke, so you put this in the washing machine did you?
Me, no, overboard.
Bloke, you got a boat then?
Me, no, my mate Rob has.
Bloke, he must be a good mate then?
Me, not anymore, he is the one that threw me overboard.
Bloke, where did you come from?
Me, same place as this flight, Amsterdam.
Bloke, what were you doing over there?
Me, having unprotected sex. Oh, and I live there, you can see that on my passport.
Bloke, what are you doing in the UK?
Me, not having unprotected sex and a Z meet.
Bloke, what?
Me, a Z meet.
(I was surprised, the bloke behind him leans over and says "I think that is a BMW car club thing)
Bloke, don't f*** with me, when are you returning to the Netherlands?
Me, right after the Z meet.
Bloke, go on then and sod off...........

:D
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Nice welcome to the UK, he's wasted in customs, he should be in the diplomatic corps.=))
 
In the interests of splitting hairs.....the people who examine passports are the UK Border Agency and not Customs!!!
 
hard top said:
bunch of jobsworths
Click to expand...
You should try the Americans. I think they have to have a sense of humour by-pass to get the job.;)

Tony.
 
Hey Jimbo @oldcarman, your personal crusade to dislike my posts to my friends is just bumping up my 'Likes Received' total.
Keep up the good work mate........:thumbsup:
 
I got my bags checked for explosives :p
My iPad , kindle and phone had this cloth wiped over them :(
Then the cloth was tested ;)
But they didn't find anything =))
 
We were checked coming out of Dover. Various questions asked and bag searched. Like Jue said at the time tho, if you've nothing to hide it shouldn't bother you. Their trying to protect us, their not doing a great job i admit but their having a go! :stop:
 
Exactly right too Dave, it is PITA but it's for our own good in the end. I bit scary when you hear from the U.S. That people are still "forgetting" that they have loaded guns in their carry owns!!

Tony.
 
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